Film Review: The Meg

The Meg
Warner Bros.

Director: Jon Turteltaub
In theaters: 08.10

When you walk into a Jason Statham movie, you pretty much know what you’re getting: terrible acting, bad dialogue and nothing to really remember five minutes after walking out of the theater. In this endeavor, Statham stars as Jonas Taylor, a deep-sea rescue specialist who confronted a prehistoric shark on a rescue operation and was forced to abandon his counterparts at the bottom of the ocean. Five years later, at a state-of-the-art research facility, the same monster is unearthed in an expedition. Once again, Taylor is expected to save the day. When you go to see a shark movie, you expect to see the shark, but, in this production, nothing is seen until 38 minutes into the film. Trust me, my friend checked his watch the moment we finally saw something. Also, when you go to see a shark movie, you really don’t care about the humans. Someone should have told screenwriters Dean Georgaris, Jon Hoeber and Erich Hoeber, because the massive amount of characters who will eventually meet their demise drive the running time far too long for this type of film. The biggest annoyance comes with the constant reminder to never splash in the water, as it will attract the attention of the beast. It is relentless. When the shark makes its way to a crowded beach with lots of beachgoers splashing, it barely attacks anyone. When all is said and done, you wish you had just sat at home and watched Jaws. There is nothing worth remembering in this disaster of an action flick, but I don’t think anyone is walking into the theater expecting much more than a Jason Statham movie. –Jimmy Martin