Authors: Dickheads
Dear Dickheads – June 2012
Dear Dickheads,
Early in May, Hope Woodside of Fox 13 did a story about how Club Velour is the “center of the scene.” Now, no offense to the owners and employees of Velour—I’m sure that they invest a lot of effort into what they do, and Provo is undoubtedly fortunate to have them around to a degree … But what the fuck does Hope Woodside know about “the scene? … read more
Dear Dickheads – October 2012
Hey Comon
SLUG Monkey’s zzz —
The best music is at Gardener Village Farmer’s Market. We’ll kick your little Lamenite butts. & you know it.
–Gary Stoddard … read more
Dear Dickheads – November 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I would just like to point out a tragedy that is befalling our youth and young adults these days, and that is the “swag movement”. And for the love of God, please stop saying YOLO for fucking everything. You really do only live once, so you probably shouldn’t be a douchebag in the process. … read more
Dear Dickheads – August 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I just would like to comment on peoples comments about cops being fat. [Issue #281, May 2012]
First of all, don’t underestimate the strength or how fast someone is on their weight. Look at pro football players – they are not exactly skinny – are they retarded. … read more
Dear Dickheads – July 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I have been downhill skating since high school and I’m curious why SLUG chooses to shun this scene from the pages of the mag. The action sport section is filled with profiles on street skaters, snowboarders, skiers, occasional bmxers and even fixed gear freestyle kids, but I don’t think SLUG has ever written a piece on the downhill skating scene, which quite frankly, is thriving. … read more
Dear Dickheads – September 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I would like to comment on your first story in Dear Dickheads [Issue #281 and #284]. I would like to comment how I use to be thin and the cops made me 300 lbs. And I’ve been homeless since 3-12-2012. Do to a pig that kicked me out of my home against the law. I didn’t threaten anyone again. … read more
Dear Dickheads – January 2015
Dear SLUG;
You seem to be in the know (or at least pretend to), so what the fuck is up with Geeks Who Drink and Trivia Factory invading our bars? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional quiz night with friends from one of the locally-created games, but these bullshit monstrosity quiz nights have invaded our valley and turned every night of the week into a super-strict by-the-book yelling match between nerds. … read more
Dear Dickheads – March 2013
Dear Dickheads,
I’d like to comment on your column for last month’s Beautiful Godzilla. I find it kind of sad and pathetic that you’re so judgmental of cyclists whom you consider “granola.” I mean, you may not have had to duck and binge so hard if you just open up to different types of people and enjoy yourself in the company of somebody showing you something that might be new. … read more
Dear Dickheads – April 2013
Dear Dickheads,
I think its about time we addressed the pollution levels in Utah and along the Wasatch Front by putting the governor and mayors up to confronting a serious health problem that they continue to dance around with words instead of actions. … read more
Dear Dickheads – June 2013
Dear Gotti,
As the roommate of two lesbians, I feel ya, man. Imagine two sets of pitchy groans …and this is what it really comes down to … IMAGINE two sets of pitchy groans. … read more