Miscellaneous: Dance Club Etiquette
Archived
Just a few pointers you should understand before making comments or asking questions of the DJ at your favorite club.
- PLAY SOMETHING GOOD, SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO! The DJ has to play for more than one person … so what you hate may be another person’s favorite song and everything played there can be danced to one way or another.
- WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A BEAT? Be serious! We know of NO songs played in a club that don’t have some sort of beat!
- I DON’T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON’T KNOW THE NAME OF ME SONG, BUT IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS… PLEASE don’t sing for the DJ They have to put up with smoke-filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night … Do them a favor and DON’T give them your favorite song.
- EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT! Oh, sure … you polled everyone In the club and, as their spokes person, you’re requesting the song.
- EVERYBODY WILL DANCE TO IT IF YOU PLAY IT! The DJ won’t … I guess that blows a hole in that theory!
- I’LL GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT! Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!
- I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT! The only people who can get away with that statement write the DJ’s paycheck!
- I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANNA HEAR, WHAT DO YOU HAVE? It’s a lot easier to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it Is for the DJ to recite the name of every record in the booth.
- HEY MAN, NO BODY CAN DANCE TO THIS! It is NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway) HOWEVER, even if only one person is on the flow dancing it STILL contradicts the statement.
If you ask for a song and the DJ says he just played it DON’T SAY ‘Well, I just got here.” It makes absolutely no difference. DON’T SAY, “is this the only kind of musk you play here?” If you go to a Chinese restaurant, you wouldn’t ask for Italian food. Rock clubs play rock, discos play disco, new wave clubs play New Wave, etc., etc. If you don’t like the music, change dubs!
If you request a song and the DJ says he doesn’t have that song, DON’T SAY, “What?! What do you mean you don’t have it! What kind of DJ are you?” HE MAY SHOOT YOU!
Special Note:
A nightclub DJ gets very little respect. They are expected to play everything for everybody. It is impossible to satisfy all of the people all of the time, yet club jocks are expected to do just that! If a radio jock tells you that a song is a hit, the majority of people figure it must be “cause they said soon the radio.” However, 80% of the time. that song was being played in a dub long before the radio DISCOVERED the NEW song. So please, give the DJ a break! The next time you request a song, stop and THINK before you speak And above all … if the D.J. has one hand on the mixing board, one hand on the turntable, and the headphones on … DON’T BUG HIM!!!
Check out more from the SLUG Archives:
Art Space: Opera
Pagans of Utah: July 1992